Exploring Attachment Theory Through in "Wicked": Elphaba's Journey

Childhood is the foundation on which our identities are built, particularly in how we view ourselves and others in relationships. For many, the bonds formed in these early years are secure and nurturing, fostering trust and stability. For others, rejection and neglect disrupt these bonds, creating "attachment fractures" that ripple through adulthood.

Attachment theory provides a framework for understanding how early experiences with caregivers shape our ability to connect with others. Through this lens, we can better grasp the struggles of Elphaba, the misunderstood protagonist of Wicked. Beneath her green skin and outsider status lies a story of childhood rejection, fractured relationships, and a gradual journey toward self-acceptance.

This post explores the complexities of attachment theory by examining Elphaba’s relationships with her father, sister, Glinda, Fiyero, her peers, and herself. Her story is a poignant reminder of how our past shapes us—and how we can heal.

Attachment Theory: A Primer

Attachment theory, developed by John Bowlby and later expanded by Mary Ainsworth, revolves around the idea that the bonds we form with caregivers in childhood influence our future relationships. Secure attachment occurs when caregivers are consistent and nurturing, creating a foundation of trust. Insecure attachment arises when caregiving is inconsistent, neglectful, or rejecting, leading to relational challenges later in life.

Key concepts include:

• Secure Attachment: A stable bond fostering confidence in relationships.

• Anxious Attachment: Fear of abandonment and a heightened need for reassurance.

• Avoidant Attachment: Emotional self-sufficiency and reluctance to rely on others.

• Disorganized Attachment: A chaotic mix of fear and desire for connection.

Elphaba’s journey reflects the struggles of an anxious-avoidant attachment style. Her childhood rejection and isolation set the stage for a life shaped by longing for connection, fear of vulnerability, and a need to prove her worth.

Elphaba’s Childhood: A Foundation of Rejection

From the moment of her birth, Elphaba’s green skin made her an object of ridicule and rejection. Her father, Frex, viewed her as a source of shame, blaming her for her mother’s death during Nessarose’s birth. Society, too, ostracized her, cementing a belief that she was fundamentally unlovable.

These early experiences with rejection planted the seeds of Elphaba’s anxious-avoidant attachment style. She longed for acceptance but avoided vulnerability, fearing further pain. Her mother’s death left a void that was never filled by a nurturing figure, reinforcing feelings of abandonment.

As a child, Elphaba often masked her pain with defiance, using her intelligence and magical abilities as armor. Yet beneath her strength lay a profound ache for connection, a theme that would persist throughout her life.

Relationship with Her Father

Frex’s treatment of Elphaba was marked by conditional love—or more accurately, the lack of it. His favoritism toward Nessarose, whom he perceived as delicate and pure, contrasted sharply with his disdain for Elphaba. He blamed her for family misfortunes and rarely acknowledged her accomplishments.

This rejection left a lasting imprint on Elphaba. She internalized her father’s disdain, interpreting it as evidence of her unworthiness. This dynamic fueled her need to prove herself, whether through academic excellence or acts of service. However, it also contributed to her distrust of authority figures and her reluctance to seek validation from others.

Relationship with Her Sister (Nessarose)

Elphaba’s relationship with Nessarose was deeply complicated. As the elder sibling, she felt a protective responsibility for Nessarose, especially given her physical disability. However, their father’s favoritism created a dynamic of resentment. Nessarose became the "perfect" daughter in Frex’s eyes, while Elphaba was cast aside.

Despite this tension, Elphaba’s loyalty to Nessarose remained steadfast. She sacrificed her own needs to care for her sister, driven by a mix of love and a desperate desire to feel valued. This relationship highlights how attachment fractures can manifest in sibling dynamics, creating both closeness and conflict.

Relationship with Glinda

Glinda represents a rare moment of acceptance in Elphaba’s life. Initially rivals, the two form a bond that transcends their differences. Glinda’s warmth and charm provide Elphaba with a glimpse of what it feels like to be seen and valued. However, societal pressures and jealousy test their friendship.

For Elphaba, this relationship is fraught with vulnerability. Her attachment wounds make it difficult for her to fully trust Glinda, fearing that their connection might be conditional or fleeting. Yet Glinda’s eventual support and loyalty underscore the potential for healing through authentic relationships.

Relationship with Fiyero

Fiyero’s relationship with Elphaba marks a significant turning point in her journey. Initially dismissive of his interest, she slowly allows herself to trust his affection. Fiyero’s ability to see beyond her appearance challenges her internalized shame, offering her a chance to experience unconditional love.

This romantic bond represents growth for Elphaba, as she learns to navigate intimacy despite her fears. Fiyero becomes a symbol of the healing power of being truly seen and accepted.

Relationship with Her Schoolmates

Elphaba’s peers at Shiz University largely reinforced her outsider status. Her intelligence and magical abilities set her apart, but instead of earning admiration, they made her a target for ridicule. This bullying mirrored the rejection she experienced at home, compounding her sense of alienation.

Despite this, Elphaba refused to conform. Her resilience in the face of ostracism showcased her determination to remain true to herself, even at great personal cost. However, her defiance often deepened her isolation, leaving her with few allies.

Relationship with Herself

Elphaba’s most profound struggle lies in her relationship with herself. Years of rejection and alienation created a fractured self-image, leaving her with a deep sense of shame and unworthiness. These feelings culminate in one of the most visually and emotionally powerful moments in Wicked: as she falls past the tower, she confronts her reflection.

In this pivotal scene, Elphaba is literally and figuratively falling. The physical descent mirrors the emotional freefall she has experienced throughout her life. The tower—once a symbol of strength and control—now becomes the backdrop for a critical moment of reckoning. As she plummets, her reflection appears in the glass, but what she sees is not just her adult self—it’s the child part of her, staring back with wide, unguarded eyes.

This child is the vulnerable core she has tried to bury under layers of defiance and resilience. It holds the pain of her early rejection, the yearning for her father’s love, and the shame instilled by years of being treated as an outsider. In this moment, Elphaba is faced with a choice: continue to reject this part of herself, allowing her sense of self to "die," or embrace it, breathing life into a more integrated and authentic identity.

Using the language of parts work, this confrontation symbolizes an internal dialogue between the wounded child and the protective adult. For so long, Elphaba’s protective part has shielded her from further pain by building walls and pushing others away. But as she stares into the eyes of her child self, she realizes that healing can only come from acknowledging and nurturing this vulnerable part, rather than silencing it.

This act of recognition sparks a shift. Rather than succumbing to despair, Elphaba begins to reclaim her agency. By choosing to embrace her authentic self—flaws, pain, and all—she sets the stage for her transformation. The plummet becomes a moment of rebirth, where she emerges not as the "Wicked Witch" society labeled her, but as a whole, self-accepting individual who redefines her narrative on her own terms.

Conclusion

Elphaba’s journey in Wicked is a powerful exploration of attachment theory, illustrating how early rejection shapes relationships and self-perception. Her story serves as a reminder of the resilience of the human spirit and the transformative power of self-acceptance.

Attachment fractures may shape us, but they do not define us. Elphaba’s journey demonstrates that healing is possible when we confront our wounds, embrace our vulnerabilities, and rewrite our narratives. Her story encourages us to reflect on our own attachment histories and the steps we can take toward wholeness.